Before you get married do yourself a favor and work through these questions and offer them to your intended. If they are not prepared to do it then that is a red flag as to the level of their co-operation and sincerity.
The history of irrational love, the passion and craze of desire has already been illustrated by great writers like William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet. Dramas, soap operas, movies and fairy tales detail how problems disappear once the two lovers are finally together. We know, however, “happily ever after” is only the beginning. The media teaches that the power of love is so strong that by just being together is all you need to experience a long lasting marriage.
Here are some questions that must be answered in the positive BEFORE marriage, or quickly thereafter.
1. What Marriage actually means ?
2. What is the concept of marriage ?
3.Do you know yourself?
4.What are your expectations of marriage?
5.Do I find myself already questioning the marriage?
6.Is he or she ready to be married?
7.Will this person support my dreams?
8.Am I willing to put someone before myself?
9.Do you know and trust your partner’s personal history?
10.Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
Well…Here are some more questions with answers that help you analize each question.
11.Am I ready to be married?
Ask yourself this question with honesty and transparency. Are you spiritually and mentally ready to be married? Have you prayed over your future together? Are you at peace with the decision placed in your heart?
12.Have you planned a marriage — or just a wedding?
Cake, flowers and fine china are all exciting, but there’s more at stake than one day. Your wedding is a day; a marriage is a lifetime. You don’t just want to be married, you want to be happily married. Think about the next 50 years. Put at least the same amount of time and effort that you are using to plan your wedding into planning your marriage.
Develop an emotional prenuptial agreement with your partner, outlining how you’ll handle children, discipline, sex, money, division of labor, religion, careers, retirement, in-laws, geography, etc. If you don’t plan for and discuss these topics, you won’t be able to successfully merge two lives together.
13.Are You Ready for Marriage?
Is getting married right for you? What do you need to know before you walk down the aisle? Dr. Phil advises you to take a closer look at yourself and the relationship before tying the knot. Ask yourself these questions:
14.Why are you getting married?
Be honest and evaluate the reasons behind your engagement. Write a list of pros and cons about your partner and your relationship. If you have to talk yourself into marriage — don’t. If you have to talk your fiancé into marriage — no way! Make sure you are not getting married to escape or avoid something. Have you just always wanted to get married? That’s not a good enough reason. If you get nauseous shopping for a wedding dress or seem to be sick every time you have to meet the caterer, listen to your body.
15.Do you know and trust your partner’s personal history?
The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior. Learn from it. How has your partner behaved in past relationships? How have they behaved with you? What has your partner learned about marriage from his/her parents? Look closely at your partner’s parents — children learn what they live.
16.Are you investing more than you can afford to lose?
Look at the cost of your relationship. If you have to give up your friends, career, or family, for example, the cost is too high. If it all falls apart, are you going to be emotionally bankrupt? It is better to be healthy alone, than sick with someone else.
17.Have you identified and communicated your needs and expectations?
Know yourself. You can’t determine if somebody is good for you if you don’t know your own needs. It’s not selfish to have goals within a relationship. Express your needs and expectations now — not when you’re already in the marriage. What are your absolute deal breakers? Do you know your partner’s?
18.Do you feel spiritually comfortable around her?
You do not need to be religious to know that how your spouse feels and acts about the divine will influence your relationship. Someone with an open heart; who is generous, charitable, humble and cultures faith and hope daily is better company than someone who repels correction, believes repentance and forgiveness to be “things of the believers” or mocks other religions.
19.Do you feel comfortable while you are around her family and friends?
It is said that when you marry the individual, you marry the family. If this harmony does not develop, eventually, it will affect your relationship. This includes how your wife feels about the people who are close to you.
20.Do you have a solid friendship?
This means being loyal, honest, trustworthy, which are supports of a long-lasting marriage. Invest in communication. Humans enjoy talking to and being with their good friends. Ponder that.
21.Are you willing to accept the responsibility of making the marriage work?
This means you will not give up when problems arise. Personality attributes such as narcissism can pick away at a loving relationship and destroy the family. Ask her to do the same.
However, good intentions, unity and the desire to better yourselves in each of these points are important for a successful marriage. Without good intentions any one of these points will snowball and destroy the relationship.
Love can conquer all. But a matured love, one that has grown together, that is interesting, strong and unified can do so much more.
Reference : http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/100-questions-you-should-ask-yourself-before-you-get-married